The word for Today
June 2nd, 2011
Getting Along with Each Other (3)
Thursday, 02 June 2011 00:00
‘…be of one mind, united in thought and purpose…’ 1 Corinthians 1:10 NLT
Getting along with each other requires more than compliance, it calls for cooperation. So make sure you validate the other person’s feelings! Never try to talk someone out of how they ‘feel’. Listen without being defensive, and nod that you understand-even when you don’t agree. Feelings aren’t always true or logical, but until they’re validated you won’t get anywhere. David said, ‘When my…feelings were hurt, I was…stupid.’ (Psalm 73:21-22 GNT) We all act badly when we’re hurt. But Solomon says, ‘A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offence.’ (Proverbs 19:11 NIV) When you are willing to empathise with someone’s feelings it says, ‘I care about our relationship more than our differences; you matter to me.’ Yes, it’s a sacrifice to patiently absorb somebody’s anger, especially when it’s unfounded. But remember, that’s what Jesus does for you! Getting along with each other means that you must confess your part. Jesus said, ‘…First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.’ (Matthew 7:5 NLT) Since we all have blind spots, get a friend to help you evaluate your attitudes and actions before meeting with the other person. Ask God, ‘Am I part of the problem? Am I unrealistic, insensitive or too sensitive?’ Confession is a powerful tool! When you can admit your own flaws, it defuses the other person’s anger because they’re expecting you to be defensive. Don’t make excuses or shift blame, just acknowledge your part. You say, ‘That’s hard to do.’ Yes, but God ‘…has given us this ministry of restoring relationships.’ (2 Corinthians 5:18 GWT)
The Word for Today is authored by Bob and Debby Gass and published under licence from UCB International www.ucbmedia.com Copyright © 2011
Categories: Bible Study, Christianity
I agree and disagree.
I think a lot of Christian authors make forgiveness/reconciliation out to be this easy thing, like “Don’t fight children. Make up now.” Sometimes we can’t confess our wrongdoing (not because we aren’t sinners) because we haven’t actually done anything wrong in that particular circumstance. The validating others’ feelings is hard too when they are being completely unreasonable…or even psycho.
Having said that, I agree with the bit about getting others to help with the reconciliation process. It’s what Jesus calls us to do after all. The hard thing I’ve found is getting other Christians to do the Matt 18 thing with you. So many just want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend the conflict isn’t happening.
I agree that you cannot always get the other person to reconcile with you, but if you make first effort, at least you are putting the ball back in their court, and when/if they are ready, they will come to you.